Love as a four letter word...

"Bitter woman's take on love"

I've been in- love before, whether it was puppy love as a teenager, or infatuation love as an adult. Because of this I will never love again ...I'm fed up with "love". Love cause me pain, grief,embarrassment,shame,trauma,and really,... need i go on? Am I bitter?...YUP! Am I going to do something about it...most definitely. Next time I start to feel lonely, I will buy some cats!

I have been that person who blamed my "bad luck" in love on the fact that "love" was a four letter word not knowing that my realization of it's true meaning was distorted and far from actuality. Truth be told, It is my own fault for sharing that love in any form with unworthy individuals without being prepared for the train wreck which would inevitably happen. I was one of those women who was the magnet for emotionally unstable relationships...it was like a hobby to me...(let me get this emotionally wounded soldier and put him back together again) but I found that in doing this it creates a chain of events of where I'm trying to fit him into who I need him to be as opposed to who he really was. We all know no one can change a person from who they really are.

It took me a long time to look at myself and wonder why didn't I think I was deserving of the kind of love that you hear in fairy tales...or better yet, in the bible? Agape love!

I can honestly say that I've fallen In love once in my life, and unfortunately he isn't "the one"...so what do I do now...NOTHING! I am still me and my one "true" love who is the representation of AGAPE love is somewhere out there for me...and just to know that fact is enough to put a huge smile on my face because life goes on. Till he comes, I will love me and do all the things I was waiting on someone else to do for me.

Being bitter and depressed is not an option...besides I have four beautiful girls that love me regardless of my flaws and that is enough...

Share the love my friends...till then, LOVE, PEACE, and TOLERANCE!